Look over there my owner didn't see (ow) but I saw it myself It's a little brown thing by the name of "woof!" That's right I'm a dog I don't really speak English at all I call those little brown things "woof!" Yeah Yeah Yeah It's time for me to chase after that "woof!" Yeah Yeah Yeah it's kind of inconsistent that I'm singing in English But I actually call the squirrel by dog language This is probably the worst one yet because of my shit singing but the guitar sounds on point and I love it yes, yes Woooo (Yeah, yeah, yeah) (Yeah, yeah, yeah) Ohh, look over there It's another dog just like me and he's just seen that squirrel too And he's run really fast and so fast It's That the moment pulled his lead (or hers lead) out of the hand of his owner (Or her owner) and he was runnin' right at that squirrel and I was, too And we bumped into the squirrel We didn't actually do that 'cause he'd already run away, anyway And then this is the squirrel running away But... yet! I was so fast that I caught that little pesky guy in the end (What, what) Eh! Then My little dog, dog friend I sniffed his little bum and he sniffed mine too (Sniff my ass!) We ran round in circles It turns out this dog was actually a gi-irl So I just tried to make. Some. Babies Or you'd call them puppies so weee-ee-ee-ee are now a family but we've got some mutts because it's a different breed I'm a poodle and he's a - he. sorry she Well she now prefers he She's transgender Sorry he's trans- *something inaudible* (Transgender dogs, bitch!) And this might be a little bit obsurd "Obsurd" - that's definitely a word But in all seriousness I don't wanna make light of people that are actually transgender because it's a very serious... topic and I'm not trying to do that It just came into my head and I just sang those words I've got a lot of respect for those people that are really transgender and obviously dogs can't be transgender because they're dogs and they can't talk They can't communicate the fact that they don't want to be the gender they were born as (they were born as) Heyy, look! It's. Anotherrr-rr squirrel And now there's another dog too And there's- well, because it's our baby and we're gonna run after that squirrel We've come full cir- (Run squirrel run!) We've come full circle and it's the end of the song now I think because I can't think of anything else to sing Woo! Yeahh Aghh! Oooo, squirrel The squirrel got eaten (That's sad)

I'm lookin' across the room at a little girl and I'm thinkin' I wanna have a kid of my own Then I see just to her left 'Bout three/four meters away Probably not her mum - hopefully, anyway There's a really pretty girl standin' there that's around my age Yeah, woah, woah woah, woah-oh, woah-oh, woah-oh, woah-oh, woah-oh, yeah (She's twelve) Yeah? We didn't mention the scale Oh no, we didn't mention the scale Oh no, we did not Fortunately for me There's girl who's about twnety-three (a nonce) just down the hall from them (Shit!) Keep going, keep going So I walk over to this girl down the hall Turns out she's exactly the same age as me this time The scale's very small Or is it big, I forget the correct one Is it big, I forget the correct one Oh oh oh I don't know-ow Let's cut to the chase I've asked this girl on a date and fortunately for me she was not weirded out at all At all ...I don't think And she said "Yes" She gave me her number So I texted her the next morning sayin' "Hey, are you free today?" and then we go bowling but that was a week later 'cause she wasn't free the week ago It's time for Luke's guitar solo But not too loud please 'cause-t it's gonna clip if you play too loud Ohh, that's the guitar solo over It's time for me to just start singin' about that bowling date The bowling date And it's a fuckin' girl and me And we're on a date at the bowling alley, oh! Haven't really given much more information, yeah because Heyy, that's gonna clip a lot Luke let's go a little bit quieter or maybe I'll move the microphone away from you Didn't actually clip, I was wrong I just looked at the screen and it didn't clip anyway We're gonna move the microphone back where it was because it was apparently working quite well And now I- I fuckin' just wish this song was gonna finish in a-3-2-1, yeah

Luke's just pitched this idea to me We're gonna make a song about a guy who's just really angry And literally everyone pisses him off Okay Not even- Yeah, you get the idea, right So my name is Darren and I get real angry really, really easily I went to Sainsbury's Local on Tuesday the thirty-first of the last month that had thirty-one days And bloody Mark got right on my wick when he said You payin' by cash or card It was just k- something about the way he said it I was quite frustrated by the look upon his face and I don't know quite why 'cause it was probably not that annoyin' There was a fuckin' guy before me and Mark had that very same look on his face when he asked him if he was payin' by cash or card And next thing I leave the shop and a guy walks right past me and I just think "That man was really annoying" And I'm just gettin' angry about every little thing I just walked past a black bin and it was just sittin' at a little, stupid, little angle out from centre and it annoyed me even more than Mark's face in Sainsbury's, yeah! Woah Yeah, hey! Woa, woah-oh Hey! Hey! Woah-oh ah, woah-oh ah-ohh ah oh ah oh Skidiki pa pa skidiki pa pow, skidiki pap I'm really annoyed Something the other day that happened to me got on my wick even more so than the other thing You see my daily job is I'm a driver of buses and I was just pickin' some people up at the bus stop, baby, bus stop Woah-oh-oh-oh Bus stop Woah oh ohh Guy comes up and he asks me if I go past Warrington Bank Quay And I just thought "I don't know" And I just said "I don't fuckin' know this is a just a new job" I only just started this job yesterday and it's not made me much money They didn't give me much training 'cause they're desperate for bus drivers as everyone's on strike right now and I'm not even part of a union I should be but I'm not because I can't be arsed and I don't know how to do it and I don't know if I actually signed up for one but I didn't realise, no No, no But this guy He spent ages asking me if I go past Warrington Bank Quay and I didn't know the answer to the question that he'd asked me

Well, it's Christmas time and I'm hoping to get a nice little special gift from my spouse this time I would like you to jingle my balls with your fingers and maybe your tongue, too It's this sort of time of year when we come together and do those little things that we want from out spouses that don't normally occur We are gonna do those things that satisfy our partners strange fetishes You I love you so So I'm gonna give you my elbow 'Cause I know you like that I know you really like that baby I know you like that I know you like it when I use my elbow You feel like you're having a great time you always tell me that So just do me this little favour Will you just jingle my balls Jingle them hard Jingle them with your fingers and maybe your tongue, too (like I said before) Jingle my balls Jingle them hard Will you just jingle them please Doo! Jingle my balls (Jingle my balls) (Jingle my balls) Merry Christmas